Re: Anger with partner Posted by macha 4/18/2006 10:37:00 AM
It's normal to be upset with someone for losing contact through the body, having a heavy arm, shuffling the feet, or looking stupidly at you when they should be watching the LOD for problems.
It's also normal for the lead to be upset with the follow for having her feet perpetually right underneath his, not doing a dip correctly, or over-rotating the couple in pivot action.
It's even normal to be so frustrated that you stop, pull apart, and exclaim "Oh, for phuq's SAKE- can you JUST STAY AWAKE here? I mean DAMMIT..."
It might also be normal to give him a contemptuous shove, or make abrupt, angry movements- afterall, your anger has to come out somewhere, somehow.
However, it's NOT normal to breed a "safe environment" for "violence"- be it shoving, hissing, or snarling.
When I feel so angry that I could punch my partner in the nose, or call him an idiot, I remember what my family has done to me my entire life, and think "it's just a freakin' dance- does he really deserve it for THAT?", lose connection, put my street shoes on and quit for that session. We'll go to Subway, talk about what's wrong, and why I think he should fall into a sulphuric abyss of torture and dammnation, he'll tell me why he thinks it happened, we'll think on it, and go back to the studio and work it out.
Just like with training horses- some days, you won't be able to get through. Just put the tack up and walk away from it. Unless you get hit by a train, you will be able to come back and try again tomorrow.