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+ View Older Messages

Re: Anger with partner
Posted by DennisBeach
4/18/2006  8:27:00 PM
I think he is referring to many people seem to be focused on being in conflict and look for excuses to fight/put the other person down. As oppossed to occasionally getting upset with each other and having an occasional spat. It sounds like your focus is on working together in a positive manner and like all of us, you occasionally lose that positive focus.
Re: Anger with partner
Posted by Janet
4/19/2006  5:16:00 AM
I too dane with my husband, and sure it is common to become fustrated and shift blame. When we get into this situation (often!) we assess if we can fix it on our own. More times then not we choose to put it down and switch our practice to another dance. We then bring up our issues to our instructor and let him/her help us to make the corrections.

We will walk out of the door together after the practice sesssion is over, and therefore finding a way to respect each other during our sessions is high on our list.
Re: Anger with partner
Posted by Miles
4/19/2006  12:17:00 PM
My wife's anger with me usually came about from my too forcible leading. A lot of men don't realize how light, almost imperceptible, a lead has to be for a woman to follow along. And if a lead is too light, and the woman doesn't respond, at least she will stay balanced. Unfortunately it takes years for men to comprehend it
Re: Anger with partner
Posted by Janet
4/19/2006  2:36:00 PM
I am right there with your wife!!

The problem is that an overlead will take you right off your balance. I refer to it often as my husband dancing the step for me.... Its my step, let me dance it!!

The thing is as you start to dance the man will overlead becasue he has the responsibility to make the angles, and travel the floor. At first the lady cannot appreciate this... Then there comes a time when the lady begins to dance her half of the partnership, but for years the man controlled the whole thing. It took a lot of time for my husband to trust enough to let me dance and break the habit of overleading. We are still working on it!!
Re: Anger with partner
Posted by Ellen
4/19/2006  5:36:00 PM
In a post above, operabob mentioned the term "dance the lady." I've heard that before, but I don't really know what it means. Can anybody explain? How is it different from overleading? thanks!
Re: Anger with partner
Posted by Miles
4/19/2006  10:58:00 PM
To me "Dance the Lady" means the man INITIATES a movement, and then FOLLOWS the lady as she completes a figure or step. So, a man does a lot of following after he actually leads something! I have had lots of complaints in my life about agressive leading but never one complaint about being too gentle. Men out there - you just can't be too gentle when you dance with a woman.
Re: Anger with partner
Posted by Bodisatthva
4/19/2006  7:00:00 PM
It means "Laughing out loud!"
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