We're all neither angels or demons Posted by dancelover 2/6/2007 6:24:00 AM
"While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance."
I think some of you are spending too much time on the sidelines talking and not enough time on the floor. I believe you will find it difficult to concentrate on other peoples' private lives if you are at these dances doing what they are designed for - to work on your own challenges. Whether it be a new step, the fear of asking someone new to dance, getting around the floor with your partner, or simply getting back out in the social world after a loss of someone or something in your own life.
I speak with experience in my own life about how dancing helped me cope with personal losses, low self esteem, difficulty in meeting people and I've seen the changes it has brought in people I am so happy to now call my new ballroom dancing friends.
I owe a lot of that to my teachers who have helped me face certain fears and didn't give up on me when I wanted to give up on myself. I see most of the teachers in our community do their best to deal with the difficult and personal things we all bring in to our lessons very well considering they are not therapists or marriage counselors by trade. As long as they do the job you are paying them for, I don't see where you can complain and I don't see how you expect them to keep their personal lives completely out when we bring so much of ours in to them. Actually,I find it refreshing every once in a while to realize they aren't perfect either. Plus,they put up with my bad jokes and I have to be the clumsiest person they've ever met!
Please keep in mind that these people you are talking about deserve to get whatever healing they can from dance just as I did and be allowed what joy they can in these hard times. As a ballroom community, we have always been supportive of our fellow dancers, and it saddens me to see two very important influences - both together and separately- have their confidences so shattered by their friends and fellow dancers. And on the internet of all terrible places to see your personal life! Let us all hope that you never have a tragedy that warrants the same for you! These things some of you are writing are hurtful to all involved and to all who are trying to give them our support. It is only your business if you have taken the time to make it so, and if it offends you so much, perhaps it would be easier to remove yourself from the situation, rather than telling us all what other people can do with their lives in order to make yours more pleasant.