"Anonymous. Tell me where this is wrong if it is.
I am standing on a block of wood 3 inches high. My toes are touching the floor. You are on a block 1 inch high toes on the floor. You will rise a grand total of 6 inches. I to equall that will rise a grand total of how many inches ??"

Under your proposition, I would rise, 6 inches, to an altitude of 7 inches.

To literally match my rise and fall, you would have to rise 6 inches also, leaving you at an altitude of 9 inches.

See it doesn't add up - either we will rise different amounts, or we will end up at different ending altitudes, in which case you supposition that there is a proper ankle angle that is common to both man and lady is false. I think it's quite likely that we often will want to rise different amounts, but it's not always the person with the higher heel who should be doing less rise.

(9 inches of foot rise seems a bit extreme - are you a ballerina in pointe shoes or brand new unbroken in ballroom shoes that are stiff enough in the toe box to act like them? )

Dont agree with that. To reach 6 inches you will only need to rise 5 inches. You are already 1 inch of the floor before you start. I am 3 inches off the floor, to reach 5 inches I raise by 2 inches.
Actually we have a style of dancing called Australian New Vogue. In it with a side by side extended hold there are dozens of steps where both the man and the lady do what we call an Arial. This is standing over a spot the heel of both is raised as the other foot does the Arial and we lower still on the same spot. The ladies heel is never as high off the floor as the man's is but she is still to her maximum in height.

"Dont agree with that. To reach 6 inches you will only need to rise 5 inches."

Fine, but you had said rise 6 inches.

"to reach 5 inches I raise by 2 inches."

So now we have risen vastly unequal amounts in the feet (5 inches for me, only 2 inches for you), in a way that makes you, as the lady, always have substantially less rise and fall there than me. In some situations that will work, in others it certainly won't.

Thus the fundamental problem: you cannot define either a correct altitude or a correct ankle angle, without taking the situation into account. Your attempt to ignore the situation was how we got into this argument in the first place.

You have to learn to pay attention to context.

Actually it is worth looking at this a bit further. You seem to have agreed that there is a difference in the height the heel is off the floor between the man and lady.
We have had in the past questions on what is an ideal height between the man and lady. Think on this.
If both myself and my partner are in our stocking feet 5' 8 inches. My shoe has a one inch heel which equalls 5' 9 inches. She in a three inch heel is 5. 11 inches total height. She is now three inches taller than me. Which dances are we handicapped in. Not the Tango we can bend our knees to an appropriate height and stay at that height. With the passing steps a Foxtrot might not be too bad. But the Waltz can present a problem when we close our feet and reach our full height with straight knees.. The Quickstep also. Unless we do more passing steps. Which we can in the Waltz also. Another factor comes in here . The lady can come down through the knees. In a competition the amount she is bending those knees could be hidden with the dress. No such luck wearing ordinary cloths. Cleverly arranged choreography is esentiall.
It is unfortunate but the lady cannot dance correctly with permanently bent knees and the man cannot dance correctly with permanently straight knees. My thoughts are the lady must come down to a lower heel size. There doesn't seem to be any other choice. Any thoughts.

I would only disagree on the tango comment. Also line figures can look unusual if the lady is taller than the man.
I would like a little more height difference and actually wear inserts in my shoes to give me an extra centimetre.
Can anyone tell me why men's standard ballroom shoes only have 1" heels? I realise it would reduce the extent of rise, but apart from this, it would be an advantage.
A lady can't really wear less than 2" heels

World champion Janet Gleave was taller than Richard in her dancing shoes?

Hi cdroge
I wasn't aware of that. I will look up some videos of their dancing. I'll get some useful ideas from them ,I hope.
One of the difficulties for a tall lady softening a lot in tango (to be below the man, who presumably is dancing with softened knees) is this: where do the knees go??. They're sticking out all over the place. Sounds daft i know, but it's a practical problem

It is a problem for us,my wife's inside leg is 2in longer than mine we just can't lower as much as I would like in all dances. It's very important that she dances her full hight. We keep our heads as far apart as possible.

cdroge. Not all groups are for you. A expert coach who has most likely met this height problem before could tailor make your choreography to suit.

"Actually it is worth looking at this a bit further. You seem to have agreed that there is a difference in the height the heel is off the floor between the man and lady."

No, I have not taken a position on that, because the statement lacks the context necessary to form an opinion.

What I have pointed out is the fallacy of your one-answer-fits-all claim.

The right answer is specific to the specific situation. As long as you ignore that, your answers will always by definition be WRONG, because they can only possibly be right in the sense that a stopped clock is twice per day.