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Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by dances4joy1424
4/18/2008  6:13:00 AM
The way I go about asking a guy to dance is to say "would you save me a waltz tonight" or "save me a foxtrot if you can". That way, if he doesn't come get me no one knows that I have been turned down, and if he does come to get me it looks great and it shows that I am approachable to other potential partners in the room. What I have trouble with is, at least in our town where there is a USA Dance chapter of which I am a charter member and past president, that the married couples absolutely will not ask others to dance. We recently had a members only dance as a free bonus event. Myself and another single woman were the only two singles in the whole room and it took 45 minutes to have someone ask me to dance. When its your own dance comrades/colleagues I find it to be very hurtful. We just live in an area that is "couples" oriented with few singles so I have to ask others to dance. Maybe this is a whole other post
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by FallsHiker
10/30/2009  8:42:00 AM
I'm just starting out with my dancing lessons and the social dance is quite intimidating since I've no partner to take with me, and the crowd is much older than me, meaning I know no one in the room.

You have no idea how welcome I'd feel if some woman said to me, 'you look new here, would you come Cha-Cha with me?' or Waltz, or foxtrot, or whatever dance happened to be playing.
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by pivotingfool
10/30/2009  9:43:00 PM
Go ahead and ask. I would ask you to consider that the guy might not want to dance with you all night.

One dance per guy, per evening, is plenty.

Some women ask five or more times during the evening. This is unfair to the men. The men paid to get into the hall, and they may not want to spend the whole evening teaching you to dance. (Or worse, fighting you for the lead.)

If you try to follow, most good male dancers will like to dance with you. If you insist on doing it your way, most good leaders won't enjoy dancing with you.

A better plan is to smile when ever a guy looks your way. Another thing to do is stand near a place where there is traffic.

Last night a women stood on the edge of the floor and swayed with the music.

I ended up asking her to dance three times.

You should remember that if you ask, the man has a right to say no. If you can not take rejection, don't ask.
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by dheun
11/2/2009  10:22:00 AM
I went to a social dance in my hometown, and there was a woman who came from about 40 miles away to attend. But she had no partner with her. I knew this from talking to her earlier in the evening. My wife encouraged me to ask her to dance so she wouldn't go all night without a spin on the floor. So I did, and she really appreciated it. My point? This is a case in which the lady should have been asking a few men. If she was uncomfortable about us having our own partners or wives with us, she could always check with the lady first. Most that I know would say it was OK. Far better to ask than not to dance at all.
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by ballroom dancer
12/15/2009  5:27:00 AM
TO: pivotingfool

In terms of social dancing etiquette,

I was taught that the man should verbally ask the lady to dance.

And, that the lady should accept unless she has a physical impediment, is worried about being hurt by dancing with the man or has some other good reason (see man's responses below).

If ladies are asking men to dance, I would expect the same rules to apply to men. Not dancing would not generally be an acceptable response.

I will agree that asking the man once or twice is probaby sufficient in most cases. And, I will decline (with a verbal reason) if I need to get back to dance with my wife who has been patiently waiting or may deline if its a repeated request and there are unaccomplaned ladies who have not have had a chance to dance.
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by pivotingfool
12/16/2009  9:09:00 PM
ballroomdancer,

I am not sure if you meant what you said in the first paragraph, or if you meant what you said in the last sentence.

Either way, I must disagree if you believe that a person can never turn anyone down.

I do not think anyone should be forced to dance eight or ten dances with one person who they do not enjoy dancing with.

If this is the rule, you could pay your ten dollars, (Or maybe even fifteen.), and you could rent a human for the entire evening.

I would never ask a woman, (Who was a consderabaly better dancer than I am.), to dance more than twice.

I believe that maybe your ten dollars gives you the right to dance with each man, (Or woman.), two or maybe three times in the evening.

However, I am not for rent for the entire evening. (Certainly not for ten dollars!) I have been offered Fifty dollars, (And more.), to dance with a woman for an entire evening. I refused because I like to dance with everyone.

I try to dance with everyone during the evening. I never turn down a first request, and seldom turn down a second request.

However, I also pay my entrance fee, and I should get to dance with the other women. I also want to dance with my friends, and the women who danced with me when I was new to the studio.

I think it is asking a bit much if you think I should miss dancing with my friends just because one or two,(Or three or four.), women are rude enought to think that they have a right to my entire evening.

Sorry, but twice is enough for one evening.

Asking a man to teach you to dance all evening is just too much.

Pivotingfool



Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by Don
12/15/2009  2:08:00 PM
I support women asking men to dance.

At a dance I would encourage women to ask a man to dance.
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by dancingdad
12/15/2009  2:32:00 PM
Hi:

I think it is a great idea for a lady to ask a guy to dance. I've taken lessons for a long time and the one thing my instructors taught me was never turn down a lady's invitation to dance, without a real good reason and then, only with an explanation. For example, I need to catch my breath, how about the next dance or I don't know this dance but how about the next (dance type you know). Once they ask you and you dance with them, you can pretty much expect them to accept your invitation to dance in the future.

Go for it ladies.
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by Richard
12/15/2009  5:59:00 PM
I have been dancing for many years both at studio's and out in the community and see absolutly nothing wrong with a lady asking a man to dance. We're there to dance, dance, dance. so lets dance.
Re: Asking a guy to dance
Posted by Jack P
12/16/2009  11:21:00 PM
I feel good whenever a lady asks me to dance with her. I would never say no if invited by a lady.

A tip to ladies: Please keep in mind that when you invite a guy to dance, you should follow his lead, no matter bad or good lead. If it's a bad lead, you may go along just for the sake of fun. If you try to correct him too much, he might be turned off and not enjoy dancing with you.

I have experience with a lady who is a good dancer. But whenever she could not follow my lead (good lead that I learned from professionals; she obviously hadn't learned the move) she tries to correct me. That usually turns me off.

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