Do NOT, repeat do NOT, give up and I say this smiling. Get out there and keep asking, keep trying and eventually your physical "muscle" memory of what steps, figures and such you love to do and that come easier to you begin to take over. As for being left on the dancefloor - unless you were totally crude and offensive - it is her loss - as it is time on the dancefloor to dance. And take the attitude that "the only thing they can say is "no" ". I speak from experience of being the follow to a really really poor but really nice guy lead. It took him months and months to get a pattern he could handle in a social setting - him being in his late 50's. Now, all the ladies ask him to dance because he will not say no to anyone - even a beginner "newbie". Take the previous posts, put on your dance shoes, and get out there. No worries. oh, one last note: group classes are just that - groups with a garden variety of personalties. Take it one class at a time, nothing is nicer than a patient lead to a follow.

sgena256

I'm the same age as you and understand your frustration.Over the last year and a half I have had many thoughts of never getting the hang of it and have wanted to give up. Fortunately I have had a lot of encouragement from instructors, my wife and other students and I'm enjoying it more each time I go. There are still days when things just don't go right and I have noticed that even more experienced dancers have some bad days. Take advantage of every opportunity to practice, participate in group lessons and take some private lessons. It will definitely pay off.

As others here have said we all started at the begining like you and I. So far my only regret is that I did not start sooner, not because it would have been easier, but I missed some opportunities to enjoy dancing. Don't give up.

Have you tried to do sequence dancing first? It easier to learn than ballroom, but most of the dances are based on ballroom or latin dances. You can pick up the steps of the sequence by watching the couple in front as you dance along (everybody dances the same steps at the same time). And many of the dances are demonstrated on YouTube these days. Try it, and I'm sure you will find that you will be able to progress to doing "proper" ballroom and latin afterwards.

Don't give up. Be honest up front about you being a raw beginner and don't worry about how long you may have to keep calling yourself that.

Keep taking the basics class, over and over and over again if you need to, each round, work on another small bit of what you are learning.

I have taken our basics class five or six times now in Waltz. Every time I work on a different aspect of MY part of the dance. Each time, I get a bit better and more men in class are glad to get me as a partner.

I try to say something positive and encouraging to each partner, especially if they are newbies.

Sometimes the guy will say I am the first partner they have had who let them struggle to lead without trying to "help" them.

Each class I am the person who learns most from my partners.

I have taken the mid level class twice. Each time I have found spots where I need more work on the basics and I return to a basics class.

Build a foundation well and eventually you will be good on the dance floor.

Have fun!

These are all very good tips for you. I particularly like the "confidence" tip. I agree. I teach beginners in my hometown and I tell the men that when you lead a step/pattern commit to it. Try to avoid "starting and stopping". Otherwise you send mixed signals to the lady. I also agree that you might want to invest in some private lessons with an instructor you feel comfortable with. This will allow you to work at "your" pace with as much repetition as you need. You can learn good/strong "leading" skills with someone who knows how to do the steps. And, if a partner is an experienced and "polished" social dancer they should dance at your level rather than walking away because you may not be proficient in certain patterns. I commend you for getting out on the floor. Keep up the good work!

Please, do not quit!!!
If it is your dream - just go for it no matter what !
I agree with all of opinions below, you shouldn't give up. Dancing is so beautiful........and you should feel that beautiness inside of you...it is not always about how you look outside. I saw a lot of beautiful women who were wearing very expensive gowns, great make up , they paid thousands dollars for lessons and competitions ...and what.....they looked not "real" on the dance floor because they do not feel that ! Money, gowns, make up don't help as long as you are not beautiful inside.....
I also had hard time...that is why I know what I am talking about.....It always was my dream but I never could afford that or I never had time...there always was something else. I moved to the USA eight years ago without knowing even one English word. After two years of being here I was very, very sick - I almost died.
When miracle happend - I decided that I want to try what I was dreaming about all my life....so I started to take lessons. But because I was 240 pounds heavy, I was driving 2.5 hours away from my city to get my lessons just because I didn't want anybody to see me..... After awhile I recognize that I am in love with dancing and I really don't care anymore what somebody think about how I look because I felt that beautiness inside of me.In one year I lost one hundred pounds !!!. I reached so many goals !!!
Dancing gives me happiness and strenght for every day life !!!
I met wonderful people. If somebody is acting as you described - not you should feel bad - that person should. That means that she/he shouldn't be on the dance floor! Do not feel bad about stepping on somebody foot during the dance - if it happens just try to joke about it - well, accidents happen. We can not learn without them ! Nobody is perfect !
If I came to the USA from Poland at 32 years old with two luggages and 10 years old daughter with me without knowing anybody, without any money, without knowing even one english word, if I could change my live in so many ways - you can do that, too.
Please do not give up. Our lives are too short to complain about somebody who doesn't know how to be nice to others. There is nothing wrong with you.
That is something wrong with them.
I wish you the best and good luck on the dance floor !!!
Krystyna

Let's say I'm over 50...I started dancing a few weeks ago.I've always had a drean to ballroom dance and I am living my dream.I know nothing except a few basic dances.I've been told I have a natural body for dancing and the moves come to me so natural.My husband has no desire to dance and no bonce in his step,and is very stiff.I don't know how to help him and I'm not going to let his two left feet stop me from going on with my dream.Lift is to short to wait for tomorrow.My dream is to dance every dance and I encourage everyone to do the same.We can't learn if your not on the dance floor.

Every one who dances has probably had the same feelings from time to time some quit and some don't.

I think someone has to honestly appraise what they're doing, why they're doing it and what options are available to them on a practically constant basis. I have seen a few rare people who probably never be able to learn to dance for one reason or another. Some people simply have no sense of rhythm. So first look at yourself and be brutally honest. Do you have any particular handicaps? My hearing is damaged so I have to be very aware and attentive to the music you may have some other problem. Do you find group lessons distracting? Try a couple of private lessons and see if that works better. I think one of the most important things is to find teachers with whom you are comfortable.

Personally I feel, looking back on it, that I didn't learn to dance very well at all until I started getting private instruction but different things work for different people. There are some dance instructors whose teaching methods are better for me than others. Don't worry I'm not breaking any elbow joints patting myself on the back about what a great dancer I am!

Are you trying to bite off more than you can chew? I found that if I tried to learn more than one or two dances at a time I generally get very confused when I was beginner. I still try to work on only one or two dances at a time but I can "brush up" and add a step or two to other dances now while I'm doing it.

The others have given some good advice! Mix private lessons with group lessons. Take what you've learned in group and get the individual attention you need to perfect the move(s) with a one on one private lesson.

As for stepping on feet. I'm a Bronze level heading to Silver level competitive dancer. If I don't nail myown big toe once a month I feel lucky!

I too was in your shoes, but got the depressed feeling later on. I would get angry with myself for making mistakes. The more I worried about making mistakes the more I made. Dancing wasn't as much fun. I decided I needed to quite or start over and go into private lessons to get my confidence back. I went with the later and now I'm a competitive dancer.

Oh and those mistkes.... EVERONE MAKES THEM! It's up to you to laugh about them and move on.

Struggling to learn is no more depressing than forgetting stuff you learned when you were younger! So we're all in the same boat. You should be thrilled that you have discovered an activity that is a lot more fun than people who don't dance will ever realize. Forget about your skill level for the time being and think about the other numerous positives -- it's great for your weight, your blood pressure, and your overall muscle tone and posture. Stick with it for the next 20 years and you'll still be around to post your thoughts on dancing website chat rooms. Pick another hobby like drinking and watching TV, and you're not likely to be around to complain about anything in 20 years.
Stick with it. Believe it or not, it all suddenly clicks in at a moment you least expect it. And then you realize there are numerous more "clicks" to try to master!