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Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by belleofyourball
6/17/2010  12:48:00 AM

I think this is exactly what is happening more often than not. It just clarifies the lack of etiquette when they can't even pretend to be polite to non-prey.

I think both sexes engage in dancing as a means to this end but have to admit women tend to be the worst offenders in being rude when someone doesn't seem to be a good potential mate.

Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by terence2
6/17/2010  4:11:00 AM
I'd agree to a point.. but..the "level" of a dancer is also for consideration, particularly in a social setting .( and thats empirical evidence )
Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by Telemark
6/17/2010  7:03:00 AM
Well if the context of the original post was a group class, you wouldn't expect a huge variation in level between members, but I accept the wider point.
Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by silver
6/17/2010  11:47:00 AM
So many good points made here. There are many whom I don't care to dance with because of skill level or a total lack thereof, I'll have nothing to do with the women who attend social dances hoping them to be "meat markets," and then there are the frotteurs who use their legs to explore more areas than the necessary points of contact: avoid smooth dances with them at all costs. Women should consider this advice, as well.
Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by Ladydance
6/20/2010  8:32:00 AM
I'm sorry that you are being treated badly by the young women. It happens at our studio quite often. These girls want to dance like they do on TV and not put the work in that a partnership requires. I have had girls call me at the studio and ask for a new partner because "I learned a step faster than him" or the classic "I want a better dancer than me". Even if I had other young men (which I don't), I wouldn't find them another partner. I tell them I'll put them on "the list". I know you'd like to dance with girls your own age but dance with the older women (30 and up) who appreciate you until a young girl comes along that will put in the effort.
Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by dancer
6/21/2010  1:57:00 PM

Young ladies are just that. Young and immature.

I teach dance and this is a common issue how ever I do think it is the Instructors responsibility to teach these young ladies patients and why leads have a more challenging time picking up their steps.When I teach the young ladies they are also taught thank their leads. In the long run when they are older they will have leads to dance with. When leads get milage they will only dance with the ladies who try and appreciate them.

For now you are learning and who cares about age? Get good and let the younger girls start to wait in line to dance with you later.Right now just set yourself up for your future. Really when you turn 30 who is going to go to a Rave?Ballroom and Latin is always in style and always will be.
Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by Mardie
6/27/2010  4:56:00 PM
Try dancing with some of the older women. They probably know how to dance and will be thrilled to dance with a young man. You will learn confidence and skill. Then if you go out to a dance club you will wow the young girls with your skills!
Re: At dance classes, whats with these young girls
Posted by UraniumSyllabus
6/28/2010  7:45:00 PM

There's a lot of good info in this thread. I'm a little older but definitely not middle-aged. I got into this about two years ago to meet new people (and yeah, there was that male ulterior motive of meeting women). I'm always excited to see other amateur younger guys getting into this since it's rare where I live. I need competition.

Here's a few pointers based on experience:

1) You mentioned you do group classes. Take private lessons, even if it's only once every two weeks. Tell the instructor you want to focus on lead and not presentation. Write that bit on a piece of paper if you want, and look at it before every lesson to keep your goal on track.

2) As mentioned before, DO dance with the middle-aged women, and not only that, make friends with them. They are established (and thus regular figures at the studio), generally have no agenda, and hey, if you're lucky, you'll have a few in the group that were "one of the guys" when they were in their 20s. These women will rock a barstool better than most of your guy friends. Practice makes perfect.

3) I said middle-aged women "generally have no agenda." Physical appearances change and treatment of guys change, but the one thing that stays the same is the treatment of other women - I've seen 80-year-old women act catty towards each other like they were 19. Use the female pecking order to your advantage. Studio girls come and go (mostly go once they realize they might actually have to TRY), but your new friends will size up anyone who walks in that door within a quarter of a second. If they shoot her down, you shoot her down.

4) High school girls don't apply to these rules. They haven't become pretentious yet and are just happy to dance with younger single guys. Usually they're quick to learn to follow, too. And they're generally happy - I hate saying it's rare, but, such is life. Respect the age barrier and just enjoy the friendship. Do be careful of psychotic helicopter parents, though.

5) Stick around. I now train with independent instructors and am competition-focused, and no longer belong to a studio, but last Friday, I was invited out to a public ballroom night by one of the barstool-rocking women mentioned in #2. Right after showing up, she told me there were a few 20-something girls that I knew, who were sitting at the other end. I spent most of the evening at the cool kids' table. Oh, and there's the beautiful amateur (and pro!) partners who satisfy even the most shallow of men's checklists.
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