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Re: peculiar situation
Posted by dheun
12/22/2010  1:37:00 PM
Any other students encountering same problem? Has it occurred in the past as well? It should be fairly easy to find out, and if so, then you've got some backing to your suggestion/complaint to the instructor. If he doesn't get the message that it has the potential to ruin his business, then he's a good dance instructor and a lousy businessman, and possibly somewhat weak at choosing a life partner (though we have no idea if her stares are warranted based on his past history -- or something you are doing that you are not even aware of).
Still, it's a roll of the dice on how far he'll get, taking those factors into account.
Re: peculiar situation
Posted by belleofyourball
12/22/2010  10:54:00 PM
It isn't that peculiar a situation. If you want to keep him as your instructor then you need to take a couple steps.

You can't force anyone else's behavior but your own. The thing I do when this happens is to make sure that the woman understands you aren't a threat. Don't expect that he can do this for you.

Talk about other people you are interested in that aren't him that are within your dating range. If you have a boyfriend bring him in so she can see him. Compliment her and compliment his choice in her even if you don't particularly mean it. This is about insecurity. Make her feel secure and it will stop.

I am known for being outlandish and outrageous but my instructor's wife is very clear that no matter how short my skirt I am not angling for him. It wasn't always this way but I made sure she understood. Just make sure she understands and things will be okay.
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