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Re: The emotional side of dance
Posted by VenusRose
3/4/2014  4:16:00 AM
Thank you all for your responses! I appreciate hearing all of your opinions about this topic. I especially appreciate the suggestion to get the book Ballroom Dancing, and am looking forward to reading it.

I'm very interested to know what kind of boundaries all of you keep with your instructors, students, and dance partners.

I think some people (dancer) have misunderstood my intentions a bit. I really think this is an important topic to talk about, especially for new dancers, because, like it or not, there is a romantic element to dance that is easy to get caught up in if you're not expecting it. As least it was for me. Just because I fell for my teacher does not mean that I'm not working on the basics, not dancing for the sake of dancing, or "using other people's honest dilemmas as a way to enhance [my] own life". (The latter comment was so caustic. Dancer, I appreciate brutal honestly, but I don't think I meant whatever it is you think I meant.)

I'm wondering if the salsa scene where I'm at isn't just a little bit different from the usual ones. I'm living on a small island in Asia, and the dancers here are quite close to each other. We not only go to the club together, we take classes together, have dinner during the week, take weekend trips to the big city, and constantly chat together over social networking. I think that makes a bit of a difference in our emotional entanglements.

I'm thinking about tearing the original post down and beginning a new one that will get comments more in the direction of boundary keeping. Looking back, the first one sounds a little pathetic. I just find it confusing and uncomfortable when the dancers at my club start telling me that they're in love with me, especially when a few weeks later they are in love with someone else. But, never will I ever fall for another dancer again. Ever. I'm really just interested in having fun and protecting my emotions as well as the emotions of the other dancers around me while being able to dance romantically without having it go beyond just dancing. Belleofyourball, it's good to hear that that's entirely possible.

Also, there was an instructor who posted on this thread when I first wrote it who opened up about some of the training he received on how to manipulate students. Even though you deleted it, if you read this, I just want to say thank you for your honesty. Your post was so helpful, and I'm really glad I was able to read it when it was still up. I wish we all could have more open conversations about these things.
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