Allybabba
Being a jerk is NOT gender specific. These ...girls are breaking social dance code - you do not refuse a person a dance (male or female) unless....
#1 you dont have your dance shoes on.
#2 You really dont know the steps of the particular dance. (but you should be willing to have that person show you how to do the basics)
#3 You are totally out of breath and need a dance to re-oxygenate.
#4 You just killed your foot.
In the 4 studios I dance - married folk come to there and dance with everyone.
Wives come by themselves and dance with everyone.
Husbands come by themselves and dance with everyone.
Its a dance not a contract to do .... what ever. Unless you are making passes at the girls, which I assume you are not.
Brush it off to these females being total jerks and dont bother wasting your time on them again.
As for your wife, crowded floors teach you better floor craft and how to better pay attention to your partner. I have found as I have progress out of Bronze and working for competition, I dont enjoy social dancing as much. I get tired of guys cutting out important portions of patterns. Pushing/pulling me off my center/balance. Young guys who dance smooth dances like they were 105 yrs old and on glass hips. I understand keeping progressive moves in check when the floor is crowded, but when its open and barely moving gets old fast. IMHO
I wish you and your wife the best.