Hi There, My name is Bud Ayers and I am an independent Ballroom Instructor in The south Bay (San Jose). I am in the process of writing a book called why men won't dance. It is based on My experiences in teaching dance and communication workshops. Many of my students (primarily single females) have complained to me that their partners don't dance or won't try. Anyway to make long story short. I am producing a seminar on the matter. It goes into deatils such as

why men dance, who do men dance for? and why don't men listen when they dance?

The seminar will be held on October 16 Sat@
Dance Attack in Los Gatos 14110 Blossom hill rd. The time is yet to be determined for we haven't decided if we want to trhow a dance party or not afterwords Gut if you're interested in more information write to me aayersjr@aol.com. Tickets are $10.00 for a 1 hour show/lesson/seminar

Bud

Hi, Bud. My name is Shari and I work for a company called Sixth Star Entertainment and we place gentlemen hosts who we call Distinguished Gents on the top cruise lines in the world! These are luxury ships that sail from all destinations in the world...we are the only door for these ppositions. Please contact me if you have any ideas or can we send you a flyer for any gentlemen that might be qualified. Ages 45-75, social, good dancers, good appearance. Thanks! Shari Kirkeeng, 954-462-6760 ext. 228

Hi Bud,

You probably don't remember me, but you gave us private lessons a couple of years ago. We haven't practiced much since then but are about to go on a cruise for our 25th anniversary. We now live in Georgia, and over the last few weeks, I have been looking to hire a private instructor like you to teach our group (8) who are taking this cruise together. Since we haven't found a live person, we are thinking about getting a video(s) to help us. Any suggestions? We want to learn the swing. But we are an older group, so it has to be doable (smile).

Thanks,
Ruth Terry

Men who try dancing long enough to figure it out decide they like it. Perversely, women whose men find they like dancing often turn out to be women who find that they themselved don't like dancing as much as they thought they would when the didn't have anyone to dance with.

This is because the image of dancing appeals to women, while the reality of structred forms of dancing like ballroom is actually far more interesting to men that it is to women.

Hey people, did anyone notice Bud made his original post in 9/14/1999?

5 years ago. LOL!

When my wife and I teach beginner group classes I always as,"Alright, how many of you were dragged down here by your wives? Put your hands up!"

Then I put my hand up. I was originally tricked into lessons by my wife & her friend who told us husbands we were going for coffee. Only coffee turned out to be after a dance class at the YM/YWCA.

We find that 50% of the men don't come back for the next level. The 50% that do come back become fanatics. These guys just fixate on learning the next step. Best of all, I had one group with 3 engineers in it. We even had one guy trying to figure out alignments in "radians". What you say rings true Anon.

Shari, it's Bob in Victoria. How's my posse at Sixthstar? Say hi to Donna, Tamar and the rest.

OB

i was fascinated by the original comment "why don't men listen when they dance?"
What does this mean? - i've heard it before.
Maybe men that dance with their wives don't listen because they've got into a habit!
Anon's comments are right on the nail

I suppose I am one of the 50% of the men who stick around to dance fanatically :). Actually I think this 50% figure is on the high side. A 25% is more likely in my local observation.

I still remember when I took my very first group lesson years ago. There were a few ladies who were quite good to be in this beginer's class. One lady would physically move my right elbow up or push my right shoulder in. The worse was her facial expression telling me that she didn't care pair up with me. I didn't take that very well, but I continue to stay and learn. Every time when I was paired up with her in group class, I feared, I got uneasy and very nervous. It was not fun at all dancing with her.

As to Phil's comment of "Maybe men that dance with their wives don't listen". This is quite true. A married couple often feel very very free to criticize their own spouse. This would result to many arguements and finally took the fun out of their dancing. A couple who do not criticize each other stay dancing to each other longer. But these kind of couples are few. How many married couples quit dancing all together because of their constant arguements?

t2,

We have become well acquainted with a latin teacher recently moved near here from Khazakstan.

I asked her once if her husband danced. Her answer:

"Husband and wife can dance together but husband and wife must never DANCE! together" (Heavy emphasis on DANCE!)

When people ask me about this I always tell them it could have been worse, my wife and I could have been bridge partners.

OB

You ladies are living in the wrong country. Here in a crowd of about 120 people there might be an imbalance of , well last Tuesday about seven more ladies than men. This is classed as a over 35's Social Dance Class with two lots of instruction plus dancing. Our problem is competition. We have more over 35's than under. More than if you combine the Juniors and Adults Youth and Juvenile together. Many of the over 35's are married couples. I don't see any fights. Whilst writting this i was thinking . Could it be because we have a style called New Vogue which is also used as a competition style. It is fairly easy to dance and can be in the higher grades very showey. Everybody does the same steps, everybody knows this style, and anybody who knows Modern and Latin would also compete in New Vogue.

We have been dancing almost 4 years and the teachers are always surprised that we practise together. Evidently most couples have problems practising together.

Without practising together, we probably would have taken a few lessons and given up. The combination of lessons/videos, practise and dancing regularily has made ballroom dancing something we really enjoy and intend to continue doing for a long time.