The problem is that an overlead will take you right off your balance. I refer to it often as my husband dancing the step for me.... Its my step, let me dance it!!
The thing is as you start to dance the man will overlead becasue he has the responsibility to make the angles, and travel the floor. At first the lady cannot appreciate this... Then there comes a time when the lady begins to dance her half of the partnership, but for years the man controlled the whole thing. It took a lot of time for my husband to trust enough to let me dance and break the habit of overleading. We are still working on it!!
To me "Dance the Lady" means the man INITIATES a movement, and then FOLLOWS the lady as she completes a figure or step. So, a man does a lot of following after he actually leads something! I have had lots of complaints in my life about agressive leading but never one complaint about being too gentle. Men out there - you just can't be too gentle when you dance with a woman.