So you think that you and your mate are immune to problems, temptation and seduction. You do not live in the real world. I guess you think you can walk on water, too, huh?
Every relationship has problems and is not always 100% happy ALL the time. When they do have problems, that's when a couple should come together to work them out with each other or seek counseling from a professional.....not seek comfort from the opposite sex, which is when affairs get started.
Nothing good comes from divorce, unless the person is being physically abused in some way. Trust me....these 2 adulterers are not on their way to Happy Lane. Even if they decide to get married (because they think they've found 'true love'), they will always have trust issues with each other. There's a reason God said, 'You reap what you sow'.
I look forward to not reading anymore ignorant comments from you.
Last time I checked it was a free society and one can do as he pleases. 25 years is a very long time in a marriage and should be deemed successful. People do grow apart and relationships end for one reason or another.
I was in an unhappy marriage for 12 years and my wife left me for a guy with a criminal record. I feared for my children. She told me to get out and she wanted to be with this guy. I was distraught and sad, but once I started moving over to my new place I began feeling great, like I was freed from a prison sentence. With time everything worked out for the best and my mental health remained in tack. Had some legal, financial, kid, and mental issues but everthing worked out with time. This is when I took on ballroom dancing for a hobby. One never knows what goes on in a marriage and life is short, very short if you are unhappy.
In the dance world there are lots of married people and events like this are threating. On the dance floor in studios everyone is under a microscope and relationship problems are over magnified.
See Happy Dancer... you pretend as though the wife is "innocent". Trust me I know that no one is perfect - as is not my significant other and I - but believe me that there is something that happened between the husband and wife FIRST to lead to a separation. And I do not believe that myself and my significant other are immune to problems, but we work on them. Unfortunately for some, no matter how much work you put into something, it can't be repaired, even after so long of a marriage. Especially if the marriage began as such an early time in both of the partners' lives. Even after so much devotion and help and counseling, some things are just over at a given point. I'm not saying the two involved should give up. I love these two people dearly; but you have to know when enough is enough. If you aren't happy, you aren't happy. And I love how you are so quick to judge my comments as ignorant. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, right? Obviously you've been a scorned woman though, so your comments are vastly wrought with hatred. But everyone has their problems. I'll probably be the next guy to dance with you on Friday night, and you'd never know.
I`ve kept out of this one but here goes. The name Henry Jaques might not mean anything to most, unless you look up the records of those early years of dancing. He judged a medal I took. I think it was Gold. Afterwards he gave a little talk in which he said. never marry your dance partner. Statistics show it wont work. You know something. He was dead right.
Anonymous: Please don't put words in my mouth or misconstrue what I wrote. I did not 'slander EVERY remarriage that ever happened'. We're talking about this particular situation. I know there are extenuating circumstances in some divorces and remarriages. But no matter what the reason, divorce is very hurtful and damaging to everyone involved, especially children. And who said anything about 'eternal flames'??? I'm sorry if that's the kind of God you serve.
If this innocent wife remarries when this is all over with, I believe she can and will have a successful life and 'remarriage', maybe better. It may take a while for her to get over this, but healing will come in time. After all, she had no choice when the husband left, and she probably will have no choice when/if he divorces her.
And yes, we live in a 'free society', and we can do as we please. But if we make poor choices in life, it will come back to bite us. That's life. You can't tell me there aren't some things you'd like to do over in your life, or take back some painful decisions you've made after you look back. We can grow from our mistakes, but the pain will come first. I did not put that law into motion....God did. And again, I said nothing about 'eternal flames'.
So please don't pretend you know what I'm about or what I think about every remarriage. YOU are the one who needs to 'THINK before you open YOUR BIG mouth'. You might want to get some eye glasses, too.
Maybe we expect too much from our dance teachers. Most only have a high school education at best. Their main education is in dance. Most live in some type of isolated bubble that includes other dancers. Most can talk ok since they are required to teach, but their skills with handling students, the public, and other problematic areas are not so good. They are still put on a pedestal since most can dance well. But their life and other skills may be sadly lacking. There is one high level breed of teacher that teaches competition and coachs competitors and then there is the entertaining studio clown pros. Dance teachers are really just regular guys and what skills they have are mostly limited to dance only. We should't expect much from them. The shenanigans expressed on this thread probably is a sample of the goings ons at most dance studios.
These comments are so American - and so wrong.... why is the woman's JOB, his LOOKS and the fact that someone was chasing someone part of the 'problem'? She obviously was interested in a shy quiet man. His relationship with his wife was not as strong as it was thought to be, and so she stepped in and acclerated the process. Why not be happy for them? Of three people, now two are happy. That's a good percentage, don't you think?
Looks and income only have meaning to onlookers - true love does not take into account bank accounts ...
that is so stupid im mean something like that has happend here in hastings before but the teacher wasn't a dance teacher at all she just had an affair with a student because they were in love and she got put away in jail then 20 years later they got married and had 3 childern togeather.
That was greatly worded. Its true. . .this kind of thing is not exclusive to the dance world. It happens everywhere. . .at work. . .at church. And it really is no one's business but the people involved. crap happens, let people move forward with their lives
I have dance friends who have danced together for decades, and somehow kept their marrages together.
However, dance can be a huge problem because unless the man is really good, his wife will soon know all of his moves. How can any man keep it "New and exciting" for fourty years?
Sooner or later a person comes along that puts the, "New and exciting" back in the dance. This is when people must slap themselves upside the head and remember that, "New and Exciting" can't last forever.
Even the smalleat of problems in a marrage get magnified when you are dancing with a, "New and Exciting" person.
And before we go too far with blaming the men, I know lots of women who leave their husbands, and even their children, for a "New and exciting" male dance partner.
Women more often leave a husband who does not dance at all, but they also leave a husband who is no longer exciting to dance with.
The fact is that learning to dance together is a great way to prepare for marrage. (if you can get through dance lessons---
I agree with Ellen, the situation is not anyones business. I can recall a similar situation involving a married couple whose marriage was clearly on the rocks, the reason they joined a ballroom and latin dance school was to give them something to do other than work together, it didn't take long for the man to have a roving eye, quite a few of the young ladies ignored him, except one whom he became very close to. The director of the studio and some teachers and students not only confronted this girl but also shamed her to the ballroom and dance world, which we all know is quite small. It was wrong of everyone who got involved if anything their involvement caused more pain and confusion. This was a private matter, yes it unfolded in front of everyone but at the same time it was nobody's business. The wife left, then the husband about 6 months later but the girl stayed, she was ostracised by almost everyone. It was really quite sad. Someones relationship/friendship/association is not to be judged or speculated. Its no one's business.
It's sad to see so much judgment being passed on this situation. I agree with other people who said that these kinds of situations happen everywhere and in all walks of life. One spouse leaves another for the co-worker, her dentist, his neighbour, the best friend, the teacher, the student, the boss, the patient and the list goes on. This one just happened to be in the dance world.
Who are we to judge How, When and Where people fall in love? Not all relationships are meant to last forever. It's a fact of life, not something that should be viewed as shameful, outrageous or whatever you want to call it. Sure, people get hurt because we're humans: he have emotions. But given the choice between staying in a relationship that doesn't work anymore and finding happiness with a new person - which would you choose? (assuming you're not a masochist)
Also, why point the finger of blame at the person who instigated the alleged breakup? BOTH people are responsible for their actions. The person who leaves their spouse is equally responsible because they made that choice consciously. They weren't drugged and forced to make that decision at gunpoint. And if those choices lead to a happier life, who are we to get all moralistic about it? It's their life! And their business, not yours! How would you feel if everybody around you criticized YOU for the choices you made in life (regardless of how big or small)? If you're feeling outraged by it all then you need to ask yourself why it's triggering that kind of response in YOU. You will most likely find that it's pushing one of your sensitive buttons in which case, that's an issue you need to address in your own life vs project it onto someone you barely know.
Get off your high horses and get a life. Focus on bettering your own life vs judging other people and their choices. Instead, you should aim to respect other people's choices and hope that it works out for the best for all involved because in retrospect everything happens for a reason.