Thoughts on this topic, and I realize this is an OLD thread..but hey...
It took me forever to come out of my shell and dance. I remembering watching my ex of 16 years dance the Bachata with a guy once. She said "YOU should have been dancing the Bachata with me".
New Year's eve 2012, I danced with so many women, not formal, just social Salsa dancing. Broke my heart to tell a husband "hey go dance with your wife" and have him say "no, it's ok, you go dance with her". I saw her sitting there, on the sidelines, watching life go by. She lit up when I asked her to dance. Was it a matter of seduction or impropriety? Not at all. It was all about being alive.
Dance can be as intimate or not as you make it. For some, it is crucial and the idea of a different partner can evoke jealousy and even rage. The love of my life is an avid dancer. I am learning the Bolero. Why? Because I am never going to miss out on any chance to be there with the woman I love ever again, enjoying those moments. I am certainly not worried about her dancing with other partners, that's not the point. If you love someone, you want THEM to be there enjoying those moments in life. I know she can dance circles around me. Will I stop learning? Heck no, that is already failing...to not do IS the ONLY true failure.
My advice to males who love their partners and are challenged by the idea of dancing...get off your @sses, live your life to the fullest, you only have this one. And this is by no means meant as a judgment as much as it is a stern warning from a very real life experience.
Well, coming from a man's perspective, I loved to dance ballroom. Even did a couple of competitions and showcases. Met lots of ladies and had good times.
The woman I met a few years ago also loves to dance, but she is into the nightclub style of dancing. The shake your booty, bump-n-grind kind of dancing, which just doesn't appeal to me at all. My style is American Smooth or Int. Standard. She doesn't care for those because she doesn't want to spend any time trying to learn all those dances.
She and I are very much in love and will be together for the rest of our lives, but we don't dance anymore. Someday, after we retire, maybe we'll start dancing again. As long as it's ballroom.
And there was heard and audible cry from the female dance population as another male dancers leaves the ballroom.....
Maybe you could get her interested in Latin and Rhythm dances. Mambo, Cha cha, Samba, Salsa would really get her heart rate up! Then you could dance with her and smooth with the other ladies of your studio.
My husband does dance, he started taking salsa classes with me about a year ago, and enjoys it, but he doesn't really like going out at night, so I go out once a week with a group of friends we met in our classes. Every once in a while my husband does come along, and those are the best nights, but mostly I go out on my own. I dance salsa, bachata, and even kizomba, which is danced in a very close hold, but everyone I dance with knows I'm married, and it's always been just about the dance, so I don't feel guilty about it at all. The people I've met while out dancing are nearly all there for one reason only, to dance, and I haven't seen any "pick-up" activity going on, unlike in other sorts of dance clubs. I love dancing, and I am much happier ever since I started, which carries over to the rest of my life...I'm in a much better mood at home if I can get my weekly dance fix.
I am a husband of a wonderful wife. I have tried to learn dancing, ballroom and salsa mainly but apart from a couple of basic steps I am just no good at it at all.
My wife is a brilliant dancer, we have been married for 27 year. She deserves to get the entertainment and fun that she wants.
I love to see her dance with other men. I love to feel her to be free whatever she likes to do and enjoy all dances in the way she wants them to enjoy. We have talked about this a lot and I just always say that she should enjoy what she wants to enjoy. I trust she won't leave me and I have no objections to her enjoying all dances in the way she and her respective dance partners want to enjoy their time on the dance floor and/or evenings when they go out without me being there.
I just don't understand why you would want to stop somebody from having fun.
Woaahhh is been forever since this threat and I'm going through something so similar, is just devastating the person you love and you want to share this with is just not even trying😔. Okay even if you don't answer me or anyone, I feel I have to for those going through this!!! I've been married for 6 years now and this whole thing is been happening ever since we met. As weird as it sounds he met me at a night club. (Yes he met me "dancing" ) and I knew he didn't knew how to dance how I'd like to but I was okay because he always tried. And I figure heeey I'll teach him how to dance (Bachata "the Dominican way" he's Mexican btw. Anyways.... I said I'll teach him how to dance (bachata, merengue, salsa, etc). But as years passed by he didn't want to dance when the opportunity was there for us. So here I am numerous times sitting by his side, people telling him to dance with me, and he just laughs and says "yeah later...." I just felt like dying watching others having a blast while I sat there and watch. Well.. This kept happening until I snapped a couple of times coming home from "those party's" about how sick and tired iam of telling him how I love to dance and how I want him to join me. I offered to teach him alot of times, I even told him for us to get some dancing lessons, and he just laughs. I must say I love this man to peaces, he's the father of my four kids, he's an excellent lover and everything else, but..... This is hes defect that he's not even trying to fix, knowing how important it is to me. I'm not trying to be selfish (I just want for "us" to have fun together. He works hard and I too, so that is why I want for us to to out there and release some stress haha.. I just love to dance, I enjoy the music every bit of it. I don't understand how can someone go to a party and not enjoy it 😒😞 and that's my husband and now I? No waaay any suggestions????? Please email me at email@example.com
Can you only dance with him? Isn't there others attending the parties that you can dance with? He probably isn't comfortable dancing and needs his confidence built a bit so, it is up to you to make him more comfortable. I am sure are aware of the machismo factor he has as a Latin and is not likely to do anything that that he doesn't do well. Try to inspire him rather than putting him on a guilt trip.
There might be a couple of reasons why your husband won't dance. First: He thinks dancing is only something you do to find a woman. Many men think this way. Once they are a part of a couple, they see no need to dance and don't want their partners dancing with anyone. Dancing = sex. Second: he is deathly afraid of something, either failure, looking stupid, or disappointing you. I would try to get him to a private lesson when the studio is very quiet. The fear keeps many men from dancing, once they try it and realize no one is watching they relax. At our studio, we have men take private lessons before they start the beginner group for non dancers because they are so sure they will be the only one who can't dance. Sounds like there is too much pressure on him at social occasions. I wouldn't try teaching him yourself, again too much pressure.
I do not enjoy dancing. Tried it. Don't like it. My wife kept begging me to dance. One time I said ok. We danced. She never asked me again. I am a musician. My sense of rhythm is in my hands not my feet. I would rather play the music not dance to it. When women hold dancing above your relationship what does that tell you? The vows say for better or worse. Is dancing beyond worse? You can love dancing and you can love you husband. Which do you love more?