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Fallen for my partner
Posted by damian_t
11/22/2009  2:27:00 AM
Hi all,
I have just recently realised that I have fallen for my partner. We both take our dancing very seriously and this could be a potential career for us. I would like her to be more than just my dance partner, but my girlfriend as well. However, I am not sure if she has the same feelings for me and if i ask her out and she says no, that could make things awkward and lead to a possible breakup, which i do not want. What should I do?
Re: Fallen for my partner
Posted by Telemark
11/22/2009  5:38:00 AM
There can be no right or wrong answer, because it is a matter between the two of you, and both of your feelings count equally.

What ever you do, be honest: with yourself, as well as with your partner.
Fallen for my partner
Posted by comedance
11/22/2009  11:02:00 AM
HI Damian, after a dance you should suggest coffee or a snack and then tell your dance partner you are interested in her than just a dance partner. Ask her what she thinks.
You need to tell her so she knows what's on your mind.
If your silent you will regret it later.
Re: Fallen for my partner
Posted by totalwise
11/23/2009  6:24:00 AM
I have been salsa dancing for over a year now, and have had numerous salsa partners. I am a amatuer and by no means a professional. But if I looking to dance in a professional capacity I probably would not want a relationship with my dance partner. Because all the tension from your relationship will come into your dancing and affect your performance.
Re: Fallen for my partner
Posted by quickstep7
11/23/2009  12:02:00 PM
not a good idea, if you are looking to take up dance professionally. As a professional dancer, I would say leave things as they are, as if the relationships has problems or fails to work you will notice it in your performances, and certain dances will look awkward. Good luck whatever you choose to do.
Re: Fallen for my partner
Posted by Jazdiva59
11/23/2009  3:46:00 PM
Since I am still a "new" ballroom dancer (less than a year taking lessons and a LOT of practice) sometimes I'm not completely certain of terms used. So when you say "professional dancer" do you mean as in being a dance instructor or do you mean being a competitve dancer? I'm intrigued by this thread because I, too, am very taken by someone that, while not officially my "partner", I dance with extensively. I really would like to hope for him to become both my official partner in dance competitions as well as my "real life" partner.
Re: Fallen for my partner
Posted by quickstep7
11/24/2009  11:16:00 AM
Hi. By professional dancer I mean competitively and as an instructor. This thread is a tough one as it really depends upon both people and how they feel. If it works then great, if not then the dancing could become problematic. Good luck!
Re: Fallen for my partner
Posted by kaiara
11/24/2009  2:08:00 AM
I can see how, with the romance in so many of the dances, one could develop feelings for one's dance partner. However, that does not mean that you would be compatible beyond the dancing.

I've danced with a number of men I found attractive at dance classes where we were regulars. I enjoyed the feelings without letting myself make the mistake of thinking those feelings meant anything real. It was the dance and nothing else.

Now, if you simply cultivate the friendship, you will find out if there is anything there beyond the dance.

Make a point in asking the whole class, or a group from class to join you for coffee somewhere after class. If your partner is interested, they will jump at the chance and the coffee after class will become a regular thing.

In a casual group like this, you can chat and begin to get to know your partner and others beyond dance. There is every chance that getting to know people in the group like this will cool your attraction to your dance partner because you will see where you are not compatible past the dance itself.

No need for declarations until you know each other as friends away from dance. Further, getting to know each other as friends outside of dance will show you if your partner is interested in you at all and save you the embarrassment of saying anything at all.

Odds are good that outside dance friendship will cool the infatuation and you will be glad you did not say anything!
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