Has anyone else been dancing for a while and found it difficult to make friends? Sometimes I feel like all of the relationships I have developed through dancing are very shallow. One of the main reasons I got into dancing was to try to meet girls and make friends, but it almost seems counterproductive after I've been in it for a while.
"Has anyone else been dancing for a while and found it difficult to make friends? Sometimes I feel like all of the relationships I have developed through dancing are very shallow. One of the main reasons I got into dancing was to try to meet girls and make friends, but it almost seems counterproductive after I've been in it for a while. "
It may be that dancing is the only way in which you as a person overlap with most of the people who you encounter in the places you are dancing. Dancing can really open some people up, but it may not change who they are as a person. If you are in a room full of people you would not have any other reason to be friends with, the mere fact that you both dance might give you one thing in common (assuming your idea of dancing has much in common - which is not a safe assumption) but it may not give much depth.
Dancing often gets "sold" (and I mean promotion from other participants as much as lesson marketing) as a "solution" to many things. That often results in unrealistic expectations. Occasionally it has great benefits, but mostly people are still the people they were before, just a little more active, perhaps a little more confident, and with a fun new skill.
Another possibility worth considering is if you are dancing in the wrong place (for you), one that does not attract the kind of person you would naturally enjoy a friendship with. There might be a venue with a clientèle you would be happier to be a part of, or there might not. Unless you have very possessive studio managers, you should even be able to study in one location if the instruction is best, and enjoy dancing in another if the crowd is best.
It does depend on the venue! Don't expect to make friends at any studio at any event such as dance party or group lesson. Now at a social dance that is community based or a dance society (USA dance chapter or a nightclub, like a salsa, or westie one why YES. Ive seen dating relationship start at my dance society.
The studio's I dance at everyone is friendly. At the social dances many guys end up with a "harem" of girls at their tables who dance pretty much with them. LOTS of people I know have become close friends and do events outside the studios. There have been some marriages too, the couples met at these social dances.
As you can see, others have made great friends dancing so you might want to ask yourself if you are doing something wrong. I'm not saying you are or trying to put you down, but look at the possibility. Are you well groomed? One very pleasant young man at our studio at such bad body odor people were complaining. I spoke to him and he now takes special care. Dress nicely at parties, which means dress pants and shirt. Show an interest in how people are and ask them about their lives outside of dancing. Smile, don't hang back and people will respond. If all these things don't work then look for other places to dance as others have suggested.
It can take awhile to make friends in ballroom. It is going to depend on your studio or venue. I come from a really competitive studio and so everyone there is guarded for at least ten months...and even some after that. If their focus is comp then you have to go to comp with them because much of the bonding happens there.
Make sure you aren't correcting anyone when you dance. It can be easy to not even realize you are doing it but I promise you when someone who isn't a very good dancer makes a mistake and blames it on me I will never dance with them again. Chances are I'll be polite but I don't want to be friends with someone who wastes my free time criticizing me. If somone makes a legitimate point and does it nicely I don't mind that with the understanding that we are friends already or you're a damned good dancer and you are right. If these criterion are not met I promise you that you are coming off as arrogant.
I'm not saying you do this...I'm saying a lot of people do this and no one ever tells someone to their face what bad dance etiquette this is but it should be covered EVERY time in EVERY group lesson.