I am an Arthur Murray student and have been for almost 5 years. I have taken one or two lessons from instructors who patronize me horribly. I thank them for their time and look for a different instructor, one who will hear my goals and dance dreams and who is willing to commit to helping me achieve those goals. My first instructor with AM wasted 8 months of my time, energy and money because she was very into the manipulation game that has been described by FRIEND, ANN and EYES WIDE OPEN above. My former husband who was taking lessons with me at the time was unwilling to confront the teacher about the issues we had with her. When she moved to Texas, I went to the franchisee and explained what I wanted in my next instructor and I got exactly what I asked for.
I have, for the past 4 years, been blessed with a wonderful teacher who sees his role as giving people the opportunity to realize their potential using dance as the vehicle. He is different from so many instructors in that he's a grown up, not a 20-year-old looking for something to do besides flip burgers at McDonald's. He REALLY (with all of his students - not just me) wants to help THEM get what THEY want out of dancing. He gives a good return on the investment and for me, that is very, very important.
I have taken lessons from Independent studios in tandem with my AM lessons simply to get a different perspective on the subject. I have encountered just as many instructors at Indy studios who just wanted to sell lessons and didn't care what I got from the experience as I have with instructors at franchised studios.
I think before I slammed an entire chain or even generalized the effectiveness of Independent studios, I would recognize that the chain or habit of the institution does not necessarily reflect the tendency of ALL studios in that chain or ALL teachers, either. Good instructors exists in both the franchised studios and the independent studios. Communication is key, though. If you aren't happy at a given studio, tell someone. If they don't fix it or aren't willing to work with you to come up with a solution, move on. Eventually you will find what you want in an instructor, especially if you are clear on what you expect from that person from the very beginning.
I sincerely hope that you have found a studio and an instructor who meets your needs and I do hope you are enjoying your dancing.