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+ View Older Messages

Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by Voco
9/27/2013  2:06:00 AM
If there are rules for instructors not dating students, it is not taken seriously.

There are examples of both happy and sad consequences. I know one lady instructor who met her husband, a pretty high level competitor and instructor, as a student. In the beginning she was only interested in his dancing style. She took private lessons, as well as group lessons, and gradually they fell in love and now they are both instructors and happily married.

My own instructor was dating one of her students who was head over heels in love with her. We all became friends during the practice sessions and competitions. One day she told me that she ended it. She said she should not have dated a student. I said why not, it could have worked out well. I did not ask her why she ended it.

He started to dance pro-am with another lady instructor as he was trying to forget. My teacher married a non-dancer.

Many of the above comments are pretty negative on the moral standards of the instructors. Not all male instructors are gigolos or con-men. Neither are all lady instructors fem fatal.
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by Ann
10/24/2013  12:44:00 PM
Really curious to know the end of the story.
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by matt
10/24/2013  1:30:00 PM
Linda, you hit the nail on the head. Very well written and very true. I too am a dance instructor and share your feelings exaclty.
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by VenusRose
12/5/2013  4:43:00 AM
I'm so happy to see that I'm not the only one to fall for my dance teacher. I just started dancing, so I wasn't used to all the attention and didn't realize that it was all part of the dance experience. I really fell for it hard, and came to realize the hard way that all the attention was just a game. I really love dancing though, and am trying to get over my feelings. I also don't have options outside of the studio that I go to because I live on a small island with a not so big salsa community! Does anyone have suggestions for how to make yourself not have feelings for your dance partners? Or, how to recover after putting yourself out there and then getting rejected? It's quite embarrassing! I'm also curious to know how it went with you, sbrnsmith. I hope it was better than my experience!
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by ballroomchick
12/5/2013  11:41:00 AM
VenusRose you take all those feelings you are getting and put them into your dance to tell a story. Just like you would if you were doing a play. Once the song ends so does THAT story. **BUT** you keep all of the feelings this provides that makes you feel beautiful and fierce. Use this as stepping stones to build your confidence and your dancing abilities.

Remember - these instructors are in the backroom practicing their "charm" skills with each other. Know if for what it is ~ use it and play off it to get what YOU need to make you a FIERCE dancer. It's trash talk you leave on the dance floor at the end of the day.
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by prodncr
12/5/2013  9:19:00 AM
I am a pro male and am curious about what happened after this. I have had students, young and old "fall for me" and yes, it made it much easier to teach lessons to them, also to have them take trips with me. Those ones tend to listen better and do as I ask, so they are more easy to teach, no stress since they hang on every word and want our approval, what teacher doesn't want this? This is how you ladies will know, many pro teachers restrict or limit what subjects and information we give to clients, even if we are speaking more casually/relaxed, and spend more time, its only to get to know you better so that we can give you a better experience for your money, flirting is natural, you will see us do it with all ages and shapes, its important to our business to make ladies feel good, but of course it is more fun if you are young and talented. If other clients know the same info (where we are from, how we got here, some foods, places of travel, taste in music, or perhaps even shops we like) its only what we opt to disclose. Most of us won't talk about our loved ones using names, our parents,won't disclose places we like to frequent, or even our neighborhood or talk about past relationships unless we are using it in an anecdote (ie. I once dated this girl... Blah blah, so now I'll never wear old spice again!!!) usually the rule is simple, you don't make your bed where you eat.
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by prodncr
12/5/2013  9:38:00 AM
I am a pro male and am curious about what happened after this. I have had students, young and old "fall for me" and yes, it made it much easier to teach lessons to them, also to have them take trips with me. Those ones tend to listen better and do as I ask, so they are more easy to teach, no stress since they hang on every word and want our approval, what teacher doesn't want this? This is how you ladies will know, many pro teachers restrict or limit what subjects and information we give to clients, even if we are speaking more casually/relaxed, and spend more time, its only to get to know you better so that we can give you a better experience for your money, flirting is natural, you will see us do it with all ages and shapes, its important to our business to make ladies feel good, but of course it is more fun if you are young and talented. If other clients know the same info (where we are from, how we got here, some foods, places of travel, taste in music, or perhaps even shops we like) its only what we opt to disclose. Most of us won't talk about our loved ones using names, our parents,won't disclose places we like to frequent, or even our neighborhood or talk about past relationships unless we are using it in an anecdote (ie. I once dated this girl... Blah blah, so now I'll never wear old spice again!!!) usually the rule is simple, you don't make your bed where you eat.
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by Daring Dance
12/6/2013  8:13:00 AM
I also think VenusRose's question is very important. If someone would reply in a new chain as not to derail this one, but both I would follow avidly as someone who is trying to get into dance and thinking of one day trying pro.

Thanks for all of the info!
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by VenusRose
12/6/2013  7:01:00 PM
I started a new thread about this topic and called it "the emotional side of dance." I'm looking forward to getting your feedback!
Re: Falling for my teacher
Posted by LRVWB
12/20/2013  4:14:00 PM
Nice! But I wouldn't ask him out. Be patient and let him take that first step.

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