I am a very anxious person, therefore I am tense most of the time. My instructor is constantly telling me to relax the shoulders. Does anyone have a exercise or method to aid in relaxing the shoulders.

I'll assume that this issue concerns the Smooth and Standard styles and that you are a lead.

There are several gimmicks for positioning one's shoulders correctly and I've probably tried all of them. I've also watched other folks exericse these actions for fifteen or twenty minutes and still lose their frame as soon as they start to dance. The problem seems to be the worst during pivots and turns.

I honestly believe that lessons and practices with a special focus on the upper body are the best solution. The advice that has always stayed with me is "Keep as much distance as possible between the shoulders and the ears."

I see quite a few developing leads trying to keep their shoulders down by keeping them back. This approach is a mistake as it weakens the arms, reduces flexibility, and compromises the follow's frame. The man's back should be straight, his posture erect (ears over the shoulders over the hips, etc.).

If you can find a coach - or an experienced amateur - who is willing to hound you relentlessly about your shoulders then work with that person until you can execute any figure with a partner without drawing your shoulders up.

jj

Thank you for the much needed advice. I am the follower. I had not heard the expression of "distance between the ears and shoulders". That I will definitely be trying. Perhaps that is part of the problem. I have a great instructor, however, he tells me what I am doing wrong but doesn't offer ideals on how to correct the problem. Thank you for the advice.

You're not alone. I have had simlar issues with keeping my shoulders relaxed. I work a very stressful job, and I often go to the studio carrying that stress in my shoulders. It can be tough at times to let it all go. Try to relax. I know that is easier said than done, but at least try. Stretch, breath deep and slow to calm yourself. Stand before a mirror. Compress the muscles in your upper back that draw the shoulders down (mostly the latissimus muscles or lats). Look to see how it looks. Feel these muscles with your hands. This should give you an idea of how to use the muscles that function to bring your shoulders down. We have to learn how to do this, so find the way that works the best for you in learning this. Practice using these muscles often, and over time, it should become a part of your "muscle memory." It all gets better with practice over time. I presume you are a lady, so ask other women for advice on this, as well. My teacher is a woman, and I often seek clarification from male coaches particularly when it comes to "body mechanics." There are some very knowledgeable ladies (and men) on this site who should offer up some information on your question.