A few phrases stick out at me, and I'm wondering if I'm just making too much of them:

"...I can not *let* him..." or "... I instantly *force* him..."

Um, you're the FOLLOW. First of all, there's no such thing as "letting, forcing" and the like in dancing. Secondly- if there WAS, that role would be assigned to the LEAD, which you are not. Leave the teaching to the teachers. You learn your part and "let" him learn his. Practice does NOT constitute you backing him into a corner and telling him how it's going to be.

That may NOT be the scenario in which you two participate AT ALL... I'm only going from a few lines of text at which I'm squinting on my monitor, but the appropriate "Trigger" words are all there and it makes the "not-really-but-close-enough-teacher" in me go "Hey- you two! Separate! We're reviewing the basics NOW!"

If you want to dance that badly, go pro-am like the rest of the ladies like this do. You'll make your husband that much more de-stressed, you can still do socials together, and you get your Moment. Although- be prepared after dancing with an instructor that "going back to" your husband will be frustrating and unfulfilling for you.

... which, consequently, is why Pro-Am... never mind.. another rant, another thread.

I have been told to run the routines through my head before going to sleep. That is every step and every alignment. If I have a new routine and in my mind some part is lost I must next morning look at my notes and memorize.
Also If for instance I am doing a Double Reverse which will finish in a Throwaway I must see the steps that get me to the Throwaway following the DRS and not in my mind suddenly appear in the Throwaway without the bit in between.

Darn this is such a easy suggestion! I do NOT know how I did not think of it. That is how I made it though college, I did not study though my first 4 years at all, I bought my first college book in my 4 th- I had photo. memory, and hearing, too. So, I would go to every class, then look at my lecture notes, the night before, then a quick read though in the morning. I always got "A"'s! Now, I am 43 years old , and I have to make lists, & More List, & then a master lists of all the list! LOL Thanks,Again! Mary Ann

Awesome, thanks for the suggestions. All lessons are by his choice, About a year ago. He started dragging me to lessons! I agree he compares himself to other physicans, in our dance clubs! As long as he does NOT make eye contact w/ others he dances a 100% better!

Dang You are a little to insightful! Yes, When we started, I lead everything! My teacher got on to me and said, "You are to bossy! For the last 26 years I have done everything, for everybody, in your household, it is time to let him do his thing, even if he struggles a little, don't fix it!" So, I literally closed my eyes, for seversl months, to stop myself from leading. Our lives are divided, in such a way that he would leave for work, 5:30 AM, and get back for dinner, & I did everything else before he arrived so we could have time w/ the children. I even did traditional "Male jobs", like dumping the trash & mowing! WE are trying to refind ourselves, w/o children they both moved out last September. This has been the most stressful year we have ever had, ever! So, Yes, You are so right about that, I have spent the last 26 years making his life as stress- free as possible, it is soooo hard not to call out the figures if he gets stuck. I am even stressing out thinking about letting him lead! Thanks for re- aligning me!

Thank You I will check out the article.

Scottyboysdoll. I thought the ratio is 3 hours practice for every one hour lesson. There should be some practice soon after the lesson. Again this should be within two hours of the lesson. It is a fact unless you run what you have learnt through your mind you will start to loose parts. At the very least write what you have learnt within two hours. In the morning is too late.
The person who said the best way to learn is to teach. Hit the nail right on the head. It is without a doubt the best way to learn. Good Luck.

I have never taken a dance lesson in which I did not write down everything I learned in that lesson, with steps, notations, tips, etc. And when I teach, I encourage the student to do the same. And I always try to practice at least a half hour the night of the lesson, and do so while going over my notes, to make sure everything makes sense. Without this habit, I'd probably be lost. Most men who take lessons and try to rely on muscle memory, and limited practice time, never get better. I know a guy who has taken lessons for several years with his wife, and he still can't do much with a Fox Trot other than the basic traveling along Line of Dance. If he runs into another couple, he's not going to reverse direction or hesitate, because he can't remember how to do it.
I would buy into Polished's ratio of three hours of practice for each one-hour lesson, but some weeks I have this funny obstacle called my regular job that gets in the way.

One word of advice: CHILL.

It's just dancing, regardless of how "there's NO such THING as JUST DANCING!" any of us are. YOU are more into it than HE is. He wants the end result without having to sacrifice his dignity- he IS a male, after all. He doesn't have visions of swirling around in layers of Swarovski'ed chiffon. He has visions of precision, empowerment, and debonair suavete.

Don't make him feel stupid by nagging at him all the time. I hate it when women do that. I try like hell to back off of it with my own fella, and now, instead of "actually" nagging, we have playful, joking, dramatic "fights" about it about which we laugh later.

Don't take yourself or your dancing so seriously. Everyone wants to learn it yesterday, and there's just no way to do that- yet.

Yes, I really never thought about what he wants to be like precise, ect. I am DEFINITELY all about my dresses! (9 closets full!) I can buy my dresses, and they come in 2-4 days if I want them. His goal takes years to achieve! EXCELLENT Point!!!!