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Low Confidence, i am the weak link
Posted by hipsdontlie
1/31/2013  6:31:00 PM
My partner and I have been together for about a year and a half now and when we started she had 4 years of experience under her belt. At first it was nice and honestly a really like that she is a good dancer. But I just feel like I am holding us back. I am much newer to dance than her I am always the one our instructor spends the most time correcting and working on. I do not know if the lead typically has to be worked with more or I am simply not that good of a lead. I try and I know I am getting somewhere but I just want to be better. I want to be the one who has few troubles learning the moves and technique. I want to be the strong end of the partnershi, I want to be a great lead but I am getting so disheartened about holding up my end of the partnership.
Re: Low Confidence, i am the weak link
Posted by Voco
2/1/2013  2:16:00 AM
Your story is very common. Some people say that it is easier to find someone to marry than find a compatible dance partner. Probably a slight exaggeration. But you get the point. You are even lucky that your partner is not maliciously teasing you.

Try this: Tell your partner honestly how you feel and tell her that you want to end the partnership, or at least reduce it to occasional practices, unless you involved romantically, in which case you are stuck, no one can help you. Get a good professional teacher, fitting in height, take lessons and do Pro-Am competition. You will be surprised how your confidence and knowledge increases.
Re: Low Confidence, i am the weak link
Posted by ladydance
2/1/2013  6:10:00 AM
A year and a half is not very long so if your partner is happy, you should not worry so much. If you are learning standard, in my experience, the instructor always spends more time with the lead. My partner is a better dancer than I am and our coach always spends more time with him than with me. What level are you at? Perhaps you need to worry less about the steps and concentrate more on technique. Why are you dancing? For fun, to compete? Do you have any goals? Are they realistic? In dancing, you have to start at the beginning and slowly work your way up. Those who for whatever reason, jump in at a higher level than they can muster, either quit in frustration or look like crap. Sure they know their silver/ gold steps but they are hunched over, their footwork is non existent, and they look like beginners. Steps are never more important than technque. Good technique = good lead. Do you dance with other women? My husband tests his leading skills by dancing with other women. If they can't follow he knows he is doing something wrong. If they have no problems, he is doing something right. Don't get discouraged, just do the best you can. It's only dancing, it's supposed to be fun.
Re: Low Confidence, i am the weak link
Posted by hipsdontlie
2/1/2013  2:59:00 PM
we are currently full bronze, moving into pre silver by the beginning of summer. My instructor and my partner and I are currently working on technique in all of our current full bronze dances, I am trying to do my best and I know this is difficult and that it takes time, but it's just the fact that she is better. I cannot estimate her ability too accurately but i don't feel as if she is leaps and bounds ahead of me. But she is just always ahead of me. I feel that i am catching up but i am wondering how to preferably advance past her ability. We are both happy with the relationship, we are also in a romantic relationship; we keep it strictly dance oriented inside the studio though. I just strive to be better than her, can't exactly say why i want to be better than her; it must be a male ego masculine thing, despite my rather flamboyant personality. Thanks for any help you can offer.
Re: Low Confidence, i am the weak link
Posted by rgswoohoo
2/1/2013  11:03:00 PM
Some women are just more intuitive than others. They can follow the simpleist sloppy lead and keep right on dancing with you ... these are a sheer pleasure to dance with! There are others that trying to lead them is like trying to push a brick wall over! Your partner might have a hard time following leads, even the beast lead, thus forcing you to be really precise with all your moves and gestures.
in my studio we just had a lady move into bronze 3. she can't follow worth a flip ... even when the studio owner himself dances with her, he has dificulty trying to lead her.

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